Feature: A profound life lesson from our pets -- love and letting go
TIANJIN, July 26 (Xinhua) -- The soft click of the door closing behind the pet hospice carer signals the start of a sacred vigil. In the cocoon of shared silence, a trembling hand meets the coarse warmth of fading fur, bearing the profound weight of existence itself.
It is the time for a human to bid farewell to his or her furry friend, one last time.
In China, a generation is rewriting the final chapter with their pets, trading futile extensions of life for the quiet courage of loving release.
THE QUIET ART OF SAYING GOODBYE
Zhang, 29, recalled stroking the paw of his 17-year-old tabby, Benben, as the feline's faint purrs slowed into silence. A diagnosis of a stomach tumor too large for invasive treatments had prompted the owner to resort to home care.
The echo of shared days -- easy meals, favorite cat treats, slow walks in fading light -- became Benben's final solace.
Dahei, 31, framed the care of his fading shepherd, Panda, as an act of deep reverence: watching, adapting, and providing comfort without reservation.
"Indeed, being there for them in their final days is a form of introspection, much like the hospice care we provide to fellow humans. It prompts us to reflect: Did we offer enough companionship during their last moments? Are there any regrets left with them?" Dahei said.
"They can't express pain in our language," explains a pet hospice carer in Beijing, surnamed Zhang. "Refusing food for days isn't stubbornness -- it's a behavioral expression of exhaustion we must learn to see."
A pet hospice carer provides compassionate support to dying pets and their owners by managing pain, creating peaceful environments, guiding end-of-life decisions, and offering emotional comfort through the final stages of life.
For Chen, 28, the memory of her Pomeranian-Yorkie mix Harry's final asthma attack while she studied overseas remains a wound. "I ache to go back," she confides, "to hold him just once more."
A MIRROR TO LIFE
For many young owners, the painful certainty of a pet's shorter lifespan serves as an unexpected tutor. As they embrace their dying pets, young people witness life's fragility firsthand, while quietly learning how to cherish life and relations with other humans.
For Guo, 26, the weeks spent whispering gratitude to his dying cat led to an unexpected dialogue about life and death with his distant father.
"This is probably the first decent conversation I'd shared with my father since childhood," he said.
Pet hospice carer Duoduo, who is living in Beijing, began working in pet funeral and hospice care two years ago. She said that her motivation for entering this field was deeply personal -- she feared death, particularly the passing of loved ones.
Having an exceptionally close relationship with her mother, she was especially terrified of losing her. Duoduo regards providing end-of-life care for pets as psychological therapy and an educational opportunity to rehearse facing death. After witnessing numerous farewells, her fears have diminished.
COPING WITH LOSS
For Duoduo and other practitioners, an integral part of their jobs is to help owners cope with the loss of their loved companions, as visualized by the hollow space where a food bowl once sat or a toy left untouched.
"We've designed emotional counseling sessions and farewell ceremonies that give people time to process their grief. For instance, selecting pet photos, creating paw print memorials, and preserving fur locks -- these activities serve as outlets for emotional release," Duoduo said.
Psychologist Li Yanru said grief for our companions follows the timeless stages -- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
Li asserts that mourning is indispensable because "it allows conscious recognition of what we've lost, enabling us to viscerally comprehend the nature of our loss. Through grieving, people gradually learn to coexist with absence, realizing that the missing pieces are also part of the self."
"This process helps people navigate relationship endings and life journeys with greater clarity, ultimately preparing them to face farewell itself."
Practitioner Liu Yang is most impressed by the grateful feedback he often received from pet owners. "There was a man in his seventies who had a Samoyed. After seeing it off in the farewell activity, he did not say anything but made a deep bow."
As the door finally opens once more, carrying the deep quiet of departure, something fundamental has shifted. As Liu noted, the departure of our companions teaches us, in their final fragile days, that love is not confined to a lifespan.
"They leave us holding both profound sorrow and something infinitely larger: a clear-eyed understanding of what it means to love truly, and thus, how to truly live." ■